I had a major A-Ha moment on a recent family vacation back east. We moved out to Colorado 20 years ago from New York and last week we took a trip out to Florida to go to my stepsons wedding. All of our NY family were at the wedding and instead of being in West Palm it almost felt like i was back in somebodies apartment in Queens.
He had just moved to West Palm Beach about two years ago to start a new life with an old girlfriend. Well one thing led to another and they ended up getting married. It was a good thing because he really was a bit of a mess when he was living in NY. He cleaned up his act, got a decent job, stopped feeling like the world owed him a living, bought a condo and basically grew up. He is 29.
I have to say i really like my new daughter in law. Even though she is also a New York transplant she is different than most New Yorkers I have come to either love or hate. She does not buy into consumerism and keeping up with the Joneses. It is like a breath of fresh air!
I say this only because i feel like i can, being a native of New York (born and raised in Queens) I have started to realize that the less time i spend around my New York family that the less time i want to be around them all.
Since being out in Colorado my values have changed tremendously. I enjoy being outdoors, i went back to grad school, I have a beautiful 6 year old son and I am not really into the latest gadgets and trends. The opposite of what i feel when i am back east. Most notable about what i call the "east coast" mindset is the complete buy-in to consumerism and the old "keeping up with the Joneses" way of life.
It is bothersome to me how much that mindset seems to take over peoples lives back east. I am not saying that every New Yorker is like that, my sister lives back east and she could care less what the difference between an Ipod and an MP3 player is. To her as long as it plays music that is cool. But for my husband's family, the step kids, grand kids and other relations it is pretty much polar opposite of that. Everything that comes out of their mouth is what brand they are wearing, what they want to buy and what they do not own yet and "need."
To me it is kind of disturbing to live like that. Maybe i am old fashioned but i don't put much importance into what i wear or the latest gadget or widget that i need to get. More important to me is a few hours in the park on a Saturday with my son, a family trip to the mountains or eating lunch in the backyard. I guess for me the best things in life are free.
On top of that most people seem fairly stressed out and unhappy back east. I guess it makes sense if your priorities are keeping up and feeling like you are failing miserably short all the time. Who can keep up? I would be miserable if i had to compete with so and so and that my thrift store clothes were completely inadequate all the time.
When i got back home after being surrounded by "IPod Touches, IPhone, Armani/Polo shirts, Hollister shorts, etc." I discussed this with my husband. He saw the same thing as I did. Being outside looking in is quite the eye-opener. For one thing it made me feel alot better about my simpler lifestyle. It also made me realize what is important to me. If i had a choice to make less money and spend more time with my family, then that is definitely where i want to be. It also made me grateful for the life that I have created for myself here in Colorado.
My husband and I live in a modest house, shop in thrift stores, drive used cars and have been able to weather the bad economy without too much collateral damage. People back east would think i am cheap. I call myself frugal.
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