So it has taken me awhile to suck it up and write about this race... It required me to check my ego at the door.
Let's just say this was not my crowning moment in running history, as a matter of fact it was far from it. To be perfectly honest, it kinda sucked. There i said it.
So what do we start with first? The good? The bad? Or the ugly? I vote for ugly because it will keep you at least mildly interested until the end of the story, which culminates in the good parts. Does that work for you? Ok, let's begin...
Part one... the ugly.
So it started out as a pretty typical fall race, nice weather (not too cold, not too hot, in other words, in Goldilocks world, just right) but by about mile 2 I knew things were just not going exactly as planned. I felt slow, I never got my mojo on. I was not sure why but I was not feeling it. My legs felt like cement blocks and things began to fall apart. I knew the course was going to be a challenge when i signed up for it but a part of me (my delicate ego) thought i was going to conquer this one. How wrong i was! The course was several loops around Prospect Park (9 to be exact). The first 3 loops were shorter and then the next 6 were longer. I read about "the hill" in the park over and over again by previous runners and New Yorkers who ran that park on a daily basis but for some reason I figured I could handle it. Hey, I was a Colorado girl! I was used to hills, trails and altitude right? Ya, ok.
Well the first long loop was a piece of cake but by the time I got to loop number 5 i was literally in loopy loo ville. 150% grade each time, combined by 6 = kind of really sucks. At the start of each hill I found myself mumbling obscenities while other runners looked at me like I had lost my mind. All that went through my mind was, didn't I just do this already? Oh yea, that's right, yes, 4 times already! I started to feel defeated as more and more people passed me by. Usually I am in a zone and do not notice this as much, yea people will pass you in a race... duh. You are not going to "win" duh... but for this race it was all i could seem to focus on, obsess almost on who what where. Older, heavier runners seemed to whip past me.
By the 4th loop my knee started to burn, at mile 5 my ass joined in and by loop 6 my calf completely froze up. Seriously, it froze! I came to a complete halt. This was followed by me shuffling into the last mile like a walker with a grimace on my face.
I am a huge fan of the Walking Dead. Here is me at mile 25...
Only difference is that I did not have Rick Grimes shove a crowbar into my skull (not that it would have helped much). I vaguely remember mumbling "brains, more brains" about that time but for some reason I could not hear the sound coming out of my mouth, only heavy breathing followed by a little drool puddled on the left corner of my mouth.
Let's just say, this was not my race. Now, back to the ego thing. It is a funny thing the ego isn't it? Especially for us runners. We always assume that we are going to keep improving, keep getting better than before, another PR. We obsess about the PR and when that does not happen then we really have a hard time accepting it. For some reason, I thought I would beat my last time, hell even a BQ! But that did not happen. I did not even come close. My time was 4:42. All that kept going through my mind was, how did that happen?
I guess I could blame it on any number of things and in retrospect one or two of them would be the culprit, not enough miles under the belt or maybe too many miles, no speedwork, no hills, not eating right, too much walking around NYC the day before (so meandering around the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens for 2 hours was probably not a good idea right?), not good sleep, jet lag, and the list goes on and on.
For one thing, I have not been feeling it for awhile. Sometimes I forget my age. I am after all 49. I know this should not be an excuse, there are many amazing older runners but I have to cut myself some slack in that department right? Most of my 40ish coworkers can barely walk a mile without whining about their ass burning up so being able to run 26.2 in their eyes is like something between complete and utter insanity and a huge accomplishment. I will take the latter.
So being disappointed in my time and of course accepting the fact that apparently something went array in my training was of course a tough nut to swallow. I had to check my ego, regroup and move past this. What did I get out of it?
Well for one thing, I was glad I finished it and I also have to accept the fact that no matter how hard I "think" i am training for a marathon, it is probably not good enough, at least for me anyway. I am not gifted. I also realize that what i lack in "giftedness" I make up in mental toughness and 9 laps calculated with rubber bands is probably not the best race for my mental sanity... period.
Ok, well, put that one on the shelf and focus on the next one. I have officially been accepted into NYC for 2014 and I am excited about this one because it will probably be my last NYC race. So now to focus on "thank you may I have another" instead of "brains, brains" and I should be good to go right?
Right....
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